Sticks of butter

I'm sure that this visual is not new but I was driving home from WW  and was trying to think of something that could represent a .2lb loss.   It wasn't a big loss but at least it was a loss and I need all the encouragement I can find.  So what came to my mind was butter.  One stick of butter is .25lbs - pretty close to what I had lost this week.  So here is a picture of what I lost.

If I were to spread that on my thighs or stomach it wouldn't make such a big difference but how about 54 sticks?

This last pile of butter is 36 sticks plus the 18 above that equals 54 sticks (or 13.6ish lbs)!!  If you were to spread that around on your body - that's a lot of fat!!   I need these types of visuals because it sometimes seems that .2 is such a small amount that it doesn't really matter.  I had a loss this week and that is something to celebrate! 

If I don't quit I will make my goal of 157 sticks of butter!  I have 103 more sticks to go!! 

Easter Weekend

Resurrection Sunday!  It was a good day!  We actually went to the service on Saturday night and then I played all the services on Sunday.  Our pastors msg was on the GREATNESS of GOD.  Not the god of modern day people but on God the Creator, the God of the multiverse. (he said they are now saying multiverse instead of universe because of all the galaxies they have discovered and are continuing to discover)   And yet God chose to come to this planet, this teeny tiny planet to become one of us and to die for us so that WE could be with Him forever!  The picture on the left is called the Crown of Thorns Galaxy.

 Psalm 8:3-4 When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them,  human beings that you care for them? 

                                           

He also showed these photos of different galaxies. Some have only been discovered in the last few years.
I had never seen these before. The left is called the eye of God and the right is called the X Galaxy but of course it also looks like a cross to me.
  

We had our Easter dinner at mom and dads.   I have not done well the last few days.  Didn't track real well and ate way too much junk.   Part of my problem was that Alan came home with Krystal hamburgers from Tennessee.  Also, ribs from Corkys.  I justified everything by telling myself this is a one time deal.  And it was but I should have stopped at 2 burgers not 4, of course they were only 4 points each.  We did make the WW version of our Lemon pie - it was very good and I only had 1 slice.  The mac & cheese that mom made was really good.  All in all it wasn't Easter dinner that got me it was Friday and Saturday and the candy.
I have to get right back on track this morning.   Scrambled egg and a mini bagel for breakfast.  I put all the candy away and I believe I can handle it.  I am going back and forth between being encouraged to just let these past few days go AND then feeling really down and hopeless.  I need to figure out meals for the week and make sure that I am prepared so that I do well.  I feel overwhelmed by the amount of housework I have.  I just need to get going and get some things done.  I need to figure out what is most important because I only have a short amount of time today.
The big news for me is that I went to buy an Easter outfit and tried on size 14 pants and they were baggy so I apprehensively tried on a 12 and OMG they fit.  They were not even too tight!  So of course I bought them!   This was an extremely good feeling and I want to keep it up.   You would think that this would be such an incentive to do well but I feel discouraged about it.  I'm thinking, "You've been here before and this is where you feel pretty good and start slacking and next thing you know I've gained all the weight back".  I am trying very hard to fight this distructive thinking.  

Philippians 4:8 A Verse to Live Life by.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy -- meditate on these things.

I'm having one of those days and I really hate days like this.  I am so critical of everything - including and especially of myself.  I am doing OK fighting it off.  But it's hard. 
Our Bible study has been reading a book called The 4:8 Principle by Tommy Newberry.   It is based on Philippians 4:8, the verse above.   I am reading about Mental discipline.  The book says, "mental discipline s the ability to keep your thoughts consistently focused.  Use Philippians 4:8 as the filter of your thinking, you focus on God and goodness to the exclusion of all else.  As a result you will begin to develop mental strength.  With high levels of mental discipline you will reach your goals faster, upgrade your potential for joy, and become a lot more fun to be around!  When you keep your thoughts fixed on God, the things of God will naturally permeate your life, and your goals will be in line with His will and His kingdom.  Virtually any meaningful goal is within reach when you become mentally disciplined".  
This is the key to my success.  I have to learn mental discipline.  This kind of day is an excellent day to work on this! 
Today was also weigh in day. My bestie, Laura, was there today. She hasn't been in weeks and I was so glad she was there. My other B.friend, Lisa, was not there today and I really missed her. I like it when my buds go too. The scale was somewhat disappointing, I had a gain of .6 - that's not a lot and I was expecting it because TOM is visiting this week. I just hate to see a gain at all. Last week was a -4.0lbs so I cant be too upset. I just gotta keep doing what I know to do. Someone posted "If you don't quit, you'll get there. I will get there! I can do this!

Water Bottle

I am so excited about my new water bottle.  It's silly, I know but I wanted a water bottle that was clear so that my water could be "pretty" with my lemon slices in it.  I think it will make me want to drink more water.  :)  It's a lime green, camelbak from REI.  It was my reward for the week that I gave up soda.  I know I can do that again if I want to.   So here's to my pretty water with lemon! 

Bobcat Bite and Softball

Kaycee had a double header in Pecos yesterday.  She had to be at the school by 815 to drive up with her team.  Alan and I drove into Albuquerque to pickup his rental car (he is going to drive to North Carolina next week) and then we headed to Pecos.  We were both hungry and really wanted a breakfast burrito from Golden Pride.  So I decided that I had done fairly well and could "afford" it.  I got my favorite #9 (Eggs, hash browns, bacon, cheese and wonderful green chili)  It was not disappointing.  I really have no idea how to figure the points on these.  There is no nutritional info anywhere that I can find.  Then we headed to the game.  The girls won both games with ease.  It was very windy and dusty but we survived.  After the game, we were hungry again!!  Alan has been wanting to eat at this place called Bobcat Bite for over a year now.  The last time we tried to eat there they were closed for vacation or something.  So he wanted to try again.  This place is known for its Green Chili Cheeseburgers.  I really struggled!  I sure wanted to try it but I had already had that burrito.  I gave in and said, "OK, no legalism, I will go ahead and have one and then tomorrow - right back on track".  Kaycee was a good girl and had a salad and then maybe 1/4 of mine.   So this is what I had and it was good.  I don't know that it is the best I've ever eaten but it was a nice treat.   The Green Chili was hot but not so hot your lips burned!

We then headed home.  We had to stop by Chick fil A and pick up the car.  I was feeling guilty about all the food I had eaten/ rather all the points I had eaten.  This is where I usually get in trouble with my thinking and I thought, "Oh, what the heck, I've already really blown it".  So I had that chocolate milk shake I had been wanting! (I don't even like ice cream that much )  So I'm hoping that I have gotten all this out of my system for awhile.  

I am trying really hard to come to grips with this is the way the rest of my life will be.  I can do this very occasionally but not weekly.   It just goes back to I can not have what I want all the time.  I have felt so good lately and I want to continue this way.  It doesn't feel good when you lose control and eat whatever you want.  I feel depressed that I didn't do what I knew to do.  BUT   I will not let this bring me all the way down.  I just wish I could convince myself that it's OK once and awhile and not feel guilt.  In the past this would be the beginning of the end.  I do not want to go down that path again.  I want to be successful but also realistic.  Life is so full of choices, sometimes I mess up and don't make the best choice but I shouldn't let one not so good choice determine my whole success.  Looking back over the past 2 months I have done well.  It's not about messing up occassionally - What really matters is the big picture!    

Weigh !n Day

It makes no sense!!  I really need to remember this.  Week before last I gave up soda's(diet and reg) and tracked very well.  Stayed within my point allowance --- blah blah blah.  This past week, I've been discouraged and negative and haven't stayed as well within my point allowance and went back to my diet cokes.   I did track everything this week but I had to guesstimate on a lot things - such as the tea/luncheon at church.  I know I had more points than I should have.   SO what makes no sense is that last Tuesday, I gained .8 and today I lost 4 pounds! 
I am not complaining but what's going on?  I guess what this is teaching me is that you may not see the loss or result in the next week.  Just keep doing what you know works and don't rely too much on that scale.  I am very happy to be within 5 pounds of my 10% goal and 2 pounds away from the 170's!!  omg!!   I hope that this lesson will stay with me  and help me keep a positive attitude even when the scale doesn't show what I want.   AND I guess I need to rethink the soda thing - maybe it did help!!

Help from some fellow travelers

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I have had a struggle with in me all week.  Struggles in my head.  Stuff like - "Here you go again, this is the beginning of the end, this is how your failure starts, you just can't do it" and also stuff like, "You know you always get to this point in WW and you know you can't make it for the long haul"  these are some of the things I hear being told to myself.  I then hear what a lot of my friends say - I don't like sweets that much, I don't have a problem with doughnuts, and they make it sound like it is so easy.  But then I wonder, "So why do you have a weight problem then, if it's so easy".   I have a little resentment. :(    It's very hard not to get discouraged when you're already hearing negative stuff from your own head and then other people say things like that.  

BUT ---  I have one friend who is doing weight watchers and went on a cruise and actually lost when she came back.  She decided she was going to track everything she ate even if it was beyond her points and she would estimate best she could.  So that is what she did.  Her husband - also a WW - did not track anything and guess what?  He gained.   I have noticed with me even if I have a lousy day and eat more points that I should IF i track them somehow I don't do AS bad.  It's gotta be a mental thing.  If I just stop tracking I have the attitude of "OH WELL, I've messed up already, so I might as well just go for it all".  I then eat more than if I were tracking.  So that is one big encouragement.

The other thing I did was look back at Annie's blog when she first started and noticed she had a lot of my same issues.  THANK YOU LORD!!!  I saw she had some gains initially and she pulled through it.  She didn't give up and quit!!     Her struggles were similar to mine, in that she wanted to eat everything in sight!  I for some reason just needed to know that there was someone (outside of our family) that had/has the same problem and had been successful at losing a lot of weight.  So THANK YOU ANNIE!!!!! 

     DO NOT EAT THESE COOKIES!!  They contain too many points!
These delicious sugar cookies from the youth church thing yesterday didn't get eaten and they are sitting on top of my fridge, I will have to move them!!  Maybe I should just throw them away.  At any cost I need to stay away from them.  but ....  I love them, they almost taste like a cupcake.

So this morning when I put on my capris they felt looser.  Hmm?  Now I have worn them a couple times so they are stretched out a little but this felt different.  So I weighed..  I don't usually do this but I needed some encouragement to make it through the day and stay within my points.  It looks like I have lost a couple pounds.  Weigh in is tomorrow, I don't want to get my hopes up but I think I have lost this week.  That will help me do a better job.  It's not a hopeless cause.  Maybe I can resist those cookies!!!

Temptations

I am having a harder time this week.  I don't know if it's because of the slight gain messing with my head or if it's hormonal or what.  I have just wanted more than my 29 points allowed.  I did stick to my points today, I think.  If you add the activity points I was probably ok.  I guess the biggest thing was tracking.  I didn't keep my tracker with me and I didn't track as soon as I ate.  Not only do I forget what I ate but I tend to beat myself up if I THINK I've eaten too much, when in reality I probably am on track.  So I'm learning!   KEEP my tracker with me.  I think I do best when I am writing it down.  I tried putting it on my ipod but that just doesn't work as well for some reason.
Today I am starting out with oatmeal and 1 slice of toast.  I am hoping that that will stay with me a long time.

Getting a pedicure today!  I had bought new sandals the other day when I bought the running shoes.  I need to get the snowmen off my toes, time for something more springish.

Walk-!t Challenge

So yesterday I went and bought me some new "running" shoes.  I went to Heart and Sole and they video how you walk and then figure out what type of shoe you need.  So here they are.  Brooks - Dyad 6 - lots of arch support.  I also found out that I have been wearing shoes way too small for my feet.   I need a 9 1/2!!!!  OMG, I have never owned a pair of shoes that large.  No wonder my feet hurt!  She said that could be why my toes go numb after walking for awhile.  Duh, Ya think?!   I've been wearing an 8 or 81/2.  I have two weeks to try these out.  Since WW just started the walk it challenge I will give it a go.

I was kinda thinking I might go walking outside but it's raining.  This is New Mexico, we hardly ever get rain.  Hmmm.   So I guess I will go use the treadmill.  It might work out better for me anyway.

I didnt do very well tracking my points yesterday.  I just was busy and in town and didn't have my tracker.  Excuses, excuses  - I did ok until I went to Costplus world market and bought chocolate.  I just wanted a couple of small pieces like dove chocolate.  Well they didn't have any of that.  I ended up impluse buying and buying stuff that was not low in points - although, I thought I was being careful and was looking at the fat content and all.  So I was kinda bummed out after I ate more than I should have and then I had no points left for dinner.  I tried to eat a small amount of dinner but that was hard.  Alan and Ty wanted Chinese.  I had an egg roll and some chicken mai fun.  I haven't even looked to see how many point the chicken stuff was.  I know the egg roll was not too bad.  Anyway, so far today, I have done better. 

I just don't understand all these gals at the WW meeting I go to.  Sometimes I feel really crazy.  I hear a lot of them saying --  "oh, I have trouble eating all my points each day"!  I want to slug them!!!  In a Christian kind of way - of course.   I JUST DONT GET IT!!   I never have points left over!!  I even divide my 49 into the days so I get 36 points plus each day instead of only 29.  I always,  ALWAYS  eat all my points.  What is my deal?  I guess I am eating different foods.  Maybe not enough of... I don't know what.  BUT the bottom line is I am still losing (most weeks) eating ALL my points.  I am just different I guess.  Maybe there are some other people there that feel as I do and just don't speak up.  I did speak up once about just getting tired of doing the program and how I was just feeling like I WANT TO EAT WHAT I WANT TO EAT - NOW!     They looked at me blankly,  and one lady even said, "No, I've never felt that way".   I get to this point where I feel like a 2 year old pitching a little fit.  Having a little tantrum, wanting what I WANT!!!  This IS something I need to control.  I am taking steps to control that when it comes around again.  Part of what I'm am doing is admitting it and writing about it and doing this blog.  I believe this will help keep me accountable.  I also love to read the other blogs because there are women (and maybe guys) out there like me!!  I guess I needed to vent.  I was only going to write about my new shoes!!  :)

Coke and Diet coke

So last Tuesday I gave myself a challenge.  I thought it would be interesting to see if I lost more weight if I gave up sodas/cokes (in the south ALL soda is called "coke") for the week.  So I did it.  Except for Sunday afternoon, I split a small real coke (which was actually Pepsi) with Alan.  But other than that I had none.  I was even at the casino where the "cokes" are free and had my cup of ice under the diet coke button and realized -- no no cant have that and had to pour that down the little drain, so i did.  I had lemonade...  By the way, if you don't know this CASINO COKES are the best!!  I don't know what they put in there but they are really really good!  Just saying that this was quite an accomplishment for me!  I tracked all my food and -stayed within my points for the week. (I think!!)  So my shock came when I got on the scales and I had gained .8  - almost a pound!!!  I said kinda loudly, "WHAT"???!!!   I just couldn't believe it!  So my experiment did not work out like I thought it was going to.  I really thought no "cokes" would make a big difference.   Oh well, I do know that "cokes" are not great for you and if I were to cut back a little my body would probably appreciate it!  I am not going to be legalistic about "cokes" though and I will have a couple.  So, this week I am just going to try and cut out a few points each day.  I usually eat ALL my points and split my 49 into each day so I actually have 35 per day.  Then if I have any activity points I splurge on those.  I better get going with some activity!

Today I am taking Miss Kaycee to the doctor.  She has a very bad sore throat.  There is MONO going around school.  I sure hope that is not what this is.  I don't think it is she has not been any more tired than usual.  I think we will also see about getting a hair cut and maybe visit Heart and Sole for some advice on shoes and inserts.  I would like to do the walk it challenge that Weight Watchers has just started but I need to get my feet in shape!

Gotta get some blogs read.  I need some encouragement after the "COKE FAIL".  I was so hoping to keep the loss going!!  Maybe I should even try to drink more water this week.

BUGS!!

The exterminator came this morning and we had a lovely conversation about BUGS.  Ugh, I hate bugs.  He told me that the little bugs we have dropping around and crawling up the walls are indeed carpet bug larvae.  UGH, the word, lavae, just sounds gross!  So he sprayed and told me some things I can do.  They are hatching now that it's getting warmer and they feed on other dead bugs in the window seals.. etc...  yuck.  Also, they could be coming from around the base of the walls at the carpet level.  Hopefully we will see less of them soon.  So then we talk a little about roaches (i hate these the most) and how you don't wont german roaches.  If Ty goes to live in town and lives in a yucky dirty place and then moves back home - watch out!  Then we talked about the HUGE bed bug problem that the US is having.  Denver is in the TOP TEN!!!  He told me how to look for them at hotels and what I'd be looking for.  They expect the bed bug population to out number the ant population by 2012.  YUCK YUCK YUCK!!    This guy was a young guy and I think enjoyed grossing me out!!  :) 

I am doing ok with my eating this week.  I am starting to get tired of bananas.  Apples are still ok.  I need to find some new fruit that I like.  I haven't been home much and it's hard to eat well if you're not home.  I did go to trader joes and get a few things.  I really like the bread I bought.  Very hearty!  3 pts+ for 2 slices and the i got stuff to make Spicy Peanut Slaw.   Hopefully i will try that tonight.  I made a Pork Loin from Danicas blog and it was good.  still have lots left to make sandwiches or tacos.  I will try the popstickers soon.  

We have a counseling session in a little bit.  Then have to go put a table down at the "booth".  Flea market has done pretty good this month - we are at $3000 ish for the month!  yay!! go mom and dad!!!!